I am often amused by all of these "Do It Yourself" shows on television. Amused because these shows make it appear that anyone with a hammer and a nail can repair just about anything at anytime; no training or skill needed.

 Yeah right.

 This past weekend is a perfect example as to why I should not be consulted, considered or otherwise made a part of any home remodeling project. Years ago, when I would try and help my Grandpa around the house, the partnership would usually last just a few minutes; about the time he would ask for a straight edge screwdriver and I would hand him a Phillips head..for the fifth time.

 Mandy and I were hanging some drapes in Austin's room. Nice, room darkening drapes. We had to affix the a curtain rod to the wall. One lousy rod. How tough can it be?

 Well, the top of the rod coupling got in the way of the drill bit we were using, so we had to drill in at an angle. The screw we were using was such that trying to turn it with a manual screwdriver would have resulted in blisters and no measurable progress for the project. So it had to be a drill. So I grabbed the drill, put the bit in the screw head, hit the trigger and drove the screw about 80% into the wall. Then I stripped the head of the screw and it stopped moving. Most of the way in the wall, part of the way out and the rod coupling was not flush with the wall. Just kind of hanging there loose.

 "What did you do?" I heard from behind me.

 "What I usually do." I replied, meaning messed something up with whatever we were working on. There's no need to speak in code. We've been together 12 years. She knows I'm pretty much useless when it comes to fixing things. So then she gets upset with me, tells me to give her the drill. I do. She realizes the screw head is stripped. Finally, we got in all the way into the wall through the use of another screwdriver, a hammer, some fists, chicken wire...whatever was around.

 But I just wish my wife would stop coming up with projects for us to mess up. At some point, we're going to do something which will hurt the value of the house. You think I'm kidding. I'm not. Me working around the home on a fix it up kind of basis is like trying to drive a nail into a wall using a fish. Why do it?

 I'm sure by tomorrow Mandy will have cooked something else up for us to do. I sure hope not. She must be an eternal optimist or something.

 Quote Of The Day: "I'm just telling you, if we buy them we're having them installed." Brian Allen to Mandy Allen while discussing the idea of buying new ceiling fans.

 This Day In History: President James Garfield was shot by Charles Guiteau on this date, July 2nd, 1881. Garfield would later die from his injuries on September 19th.

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