The way singles are finding relationships is changing

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SIOUX FALLS, S.D. (KSFY) - Now, more than ever, singles are finding love online. But, it doesn't always work and it isn't always for everyone.

Match.com reports more than 100 million singles are using the internet or apps to find dates and a recent "Singles in America" survey found that 40 percent of singles had started a relationship with someone they met online, while just 25 percent met through a friend.

"If you join an online dating app, the changes are you are four times more like to go on a date, [than] if you didn't," said Mandy Ginsberg, CEO for Match North America.

Online dating can work. In 2015, a Pew Research Center study found that 5 percent of Americans met their spouse online.

"The ones that probably have a good relationship started out with common interests and built on that," explained Kathleen Lemme, licensed marriage and family therapist at Sanford Health. "But the ones that maybe have difficulty are the ones that had unrealistic expectations."

Lemme said those unrealistic expectations can include thinking someone is going to be exactly like the profile they post online, which you shouldn't expect.

"Be honest in [your] profile, meet people with common interests," Lemme said. "Don't try to change yourself for other people and really look for someone you can be adaptable to."

But sometimes it doesn't always turn out to be who you think is behind the screen.

"People want the attractive, smart, wealthy, successful person and then they meet the real person and they don’t actually get what they’re looking for," said Lemme.

If online dating isn't you thing, Lemme said, there are plenty of other ways to meet people.

"I’ll hear a lot of times single people say, 'I cant meet anybody,' or 'I meet people online and it doesn’t work out,' and you need to be sociable," she explained. "You go out to like, libraries, bookstores, coffee shops, do volunteer work, get involved with social groups."

But if none of those work, you can try things the old-fashioned way.

Chad and Kara Julius, from Watertown, have been married for 30 years -- they tied the knot after just four months of dating.

"What happened was we both had just come off of bad relationships," Kara said.

They were set up by two of their mutual friends on a blind date, and the rest was history.

"So we basically agreed, that we knew that night we were gonna spend the rest of our life," she explained.

"[We] just clicked," Chad said.

"We knew," Kara said.

Greg and Janet Burger have been going steady since high school, now they've been married for 45 years.

"We dated all through high school, we’re high school sweethearts," Janet explained. "[But] we went to college in different places and then got married about our junior or senior year. It's been a wonderful married life ever since!"

Since those two couples have made it work for so long, KSFY News wanted to know their secrets for a happy relationship.

"Be patient with each other and you have to work at it –it’s definitely worth it," said Kara.

"Just respect each other," said Greg.

"Keep on falling in love, keep finding ways to honor one another and to express your love and keep on doing that through the years," Janet explained.

But you can't do that if you don't get out there and date.

"The biggie is getting out there and meeting people. I hear a lot of times, ‘I can’t meet anybody,’ or 'I can’t meet the right person,'" Lemme explained.



 
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