Most of us were appalled when video surfaced a couple of weeks ago of New Mexico soccer player Elizabeth Lambert, on several levels, that someone would actually act so blatantly violent to her opponent and that she was allowed to stay in the game. "I was shocked that her behavior was so over the top," says Steve Burckhalter, the associate director of Dakota Alliance. Steve also coaches boys and girls soccer here in Sioux Falls. he says he will not tolerate bad behavior from his players or their parents. "It's important to recognize competition is healthy. But in order to have a healthy competition you need to treat the other team, officials, coaches, and parents with respect. And I think that's true in life."

Avera outpatient therapist Jon Feiock says good sportsmanship boils down to good behavior. Kids learn and often mimic those behaviors early on from mom and dad. "In everyday conversations around the house are the parents polite and respectful or do they bark orders and are belittling? If they are doing that in front of the kids the kids will more than likely model that and have the same behavior whether it's on the field or school or with family and friends."

When parents yell at their kids during games they probably think they are motivating them. Feiock says that can actually have the opposite effect. It can disrupt play and diminish their self esteem and self confidence. Both things they'll need in life off the field and on.

It's true what our parents said, it's not if you win or lose, it's how you play the game. Parents you need to remember that too because your children are learning all about the game of life from you.

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