Anthony & Deidra Withers of Sioux Falls play with their 9-month-old daughter, Aaliyah.
Story Created:
May 15, 2008 at 10:58 PM CDT
Story Updated:
May 15, 2008 at 11:02 PM CDT
Tonight, the five questions dads need to ask themselves to see if they're doing a good job with their kids.
Some of the questions are the type you would expect: but the number one question is a little out of left field, and will hopefully make you think.
I want you to meet Anthony Withers, his wife Deidra and their 9 month old daughter Aaliyah. Anthony tells me; "Being a father is something I've always wanted to do."
Anthony and Deidra have a 50-50 split of duties: bathtime, bedtime, all the time. Deidra tells me Anthony and Aaliyah are very close. "She loves him."
Before Anthony and Deidra know it, Aaliyah will be a teen-ager finding her own way through life. That's why dads need to ask themselves these five questions sooner rather than later.
"You only have a couple of years and that child starts to float out socially to other areas." We developed the five questions through discussions with Avera Child Counselor Paul Ritter.
Question 5: are you a gentle father?
Not just physically but emotionally;
Anthony wants Aaliyah to know the answer is yes. "Teach her that love is always going to be here from me."
Question 4: do you have fun with your kids?
Do you play with them?
Counselor Paul Ritter says dads need to have play time interaction with their kids. "I think it's a great idea."
Question 3: do you discipline your kids?
This question might be a little too early for 9-month Aaliyah, but Paul Ritter says kids need to know dads are willing to do a couple of different things. "Number one loves me, is gonna be there for me but also is gonna keep me from hurting myself or getting out of control."
Question 2: are you dependable?
Do you keep your promises to your kids?
This one is important to Deidra, that Aaliyah knows Anthony will be there when she needs him. "He'll be her big role model like mommy is."
Question 1 is one you may have never thought about in your role as a parent:
Are you humble?
Do you teach your child the world doesn't revolve around them? That they need to care about others?
"You're really talking about development of character." Child Counselor Ritter adds this is a tough lesson to teach but can avoid selfishness later in life while promoting the development of healthy relationships.
Anthony says he watches what he says and does: he knows little Aaliyah is watching.
Throughout Aaliyah's house you see a consistent visual theme; pictures of Aaliyah and of mom and of dad and that's not by accident. Deidra and Anthony want Aliyah to grow up seeing the three of them together, sending a message they will be always be there for one another.
Child counselor Paul Ritter says it can be tough for dads to step up and play a full role in their kids lives...and sometimes the roadblocks can be....moms!
We'll talk about that Friday on KSFY Live In The Morning.
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